let's go deeper
When people say “deep”? or “deeper?”, what do they mean?
Are we living at the surface, and there’s something more true, more real “down there"? When we get down there, will we have found the “real us”? Where are we, even now? Where is now? Is it even possible to work on oneself or is the whole story of progress a mirage about a mirage? How can we ever truly compare ourselves to ourselves?
Our only life in this moment is incomparable, perfectly seamless and invisible - boundless joys, intricate pains , our experience so real ... that it's real. So real that no one can feel us but us, and perhaps not even. There is no friend who can know the joy and pain we know in friendship, and no trace of that friendship. No one can truly recognize how far we’ve gone as we go deeper.
Perhaps “going deeper” is less about moving someplace, or changing something
and more about seeing “underneath” the words we use. Seeing underneath the words that use us to describe our experience. We might begin to tangibly sense the very heat of the words, thoughts, images and ideas have on us at this very moment - right now. Perpetual self hypnosis, dream without a driver, we might sense that we are a compelling story improvising itself and although none of it is real, this very moment is exquisite.
We might discover ourselves, our whole wide world, our life, our endless relationships and repetitions, this quivering fragile now to be a perfect echo chamber of communication, instant karma of call and response, a feedback loop so seamless that it is invisible, a drum beat where we ever dance to the often frightening music of our own footfalls.
At this very moment, what is our innervision? Without knowing what that means, what anything means, what does this feel like now?
Any approach to getting intimate with oneself is as valid as any other, because the content, words and images, are less real than how we feel about them right now. The words meditation, hypnosis, self study, therapy, prayer are less important than what we do with any of of them right now, how we use them - to feel good, to feel good, yes - to feel good.
Hypnosis is just a metaphor for heightened communication, heightened learning, great affection. If our very reality is ever reshaping as we learn right now, what are we learning right now? Where shall we go, now that we are free from the need to be free? If we start from what we want to feel, perhaps it doesn't matter that we're not going anywhere else. Perhaps it has never mattered who we are, or where we are, or what is happening, or what will happen, or what has happened, as we enjoy the growing suspicion that at any given moment we can learn to feel good, we can learn to go deeper.